Silly Fairy Tale
by kuragari nikkou
Summary: Sir Natsume of the famed Tsuchimikado knights must rescue the fair princess Harutora from the villainous ogre, Touji! Or something like that. Look inside for other warnings! AU Crackfic?


Everything © their respective owners

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KN: I…don't even.

Warning: Silly fairy tale is silly, and this is totally crack.

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"Princess Harutora has been kidnapped!"

"WHAT?!" Sir Natsume - future head of the famed Tsuchimikado family of knights – stormed into the castle hall immediately. "Who would dare?!" She demanded, gripping the collar of a quivering servant.

"Looked like the ogre, Ato Touji." Takahiro rubbed his chin in thought. "I believe he just tossed Harutora behind him on a flying stallion and flew off somewhere."

"Shouldn't you sound more worried?" Natsume gave him a pointed look. "This is _your son_ that was just kidnapped, after all. And by a patient you were supposed to have treated as well."

"I don't think Touji bears Harutora any ill will." Takahiro shrugged. "And besides, your father looked into the matter. The stars told him that things would end nicely, and we shouldn't trouble ourselves with it."

"My father…?" Natsume thought the idea over and frowned. "Hold it, you said that the ogre had a flying stallion? There's no way he could, Yukikaze is the only…"

"Come to think of it, that horse might've been Yukikaze." Takahiro nodded.

"But Yukikaze belongs to my father!" Natsume protested. "That villainous fiend must've taken my father's familiar to spirit away Princess Harutora…"

"I'd think it'd be difficult to take one of your _father's_ famili-!"

"I will rescue the princess and Yukikaze!" Natsume interrupted. "My father must have predicted that things would end nicely because only through my efforts would Princess Harutora be safe again."

"I don't think-."

"You there!" Natsume pointed to the servant she demanded answers from earlier, interrupting Takahiro once again. "Bring my faithful dragon to me immediately!"

"Right away, sir Natsume!" the servant bowed before leaving the room to fetch Hokuto along with the dragon's reins. Takahiro simply shook his head.

"I really think you should just give it up and save yourself the trouble."

"Never!" Natsume declared. "Princess Harutora is my dear childhood friend and intended bride. I shan't allow that villainous Touji to have his way with him!"

"…interesting word choice." Takahiro left, understanding that there was no changing Natsume's mind now.

.-:-.-.-:-.-.-:-.

"Sir Natsume, wait!" Kyoko stopped short of Natsume's getting ready to ride Hokuto. "Do you even know where you'll be able to find Princess Harutora?"

"No." the knight answered honestly. "But I'll never stop searching till I find the princess and give that ogre a piece of my mind!"

"I just think…" Kyoko faltered.

"What is it, sir Kyoko?" Natsume asked. "The longer I take here, the worse trouble Princess Harutora might be in. You know his luck's never been that great."

"True, but…" Kyoko swallowed. She then locked eyes with Natsume, and handed her a folded up map. "I read the stars and found Princess Harutora's location. I wish you the best of luck, sir Natsume." Natsume opened the map up and gave it a good once-over before pocketing it. As she took up the reins on her dragon-steed, she gave her friend a small smile.

"Many thanks, sir Kyoko." Natsume looked straight ahead with narrowed eyes. "All right, Hokuto! Onward to rescue the princess!" As the knight ascended to the skies on dragonback, Kyoko gave her one last tiny smile.

.-:-.-.-:-.-.-:-.

As Natsume roamed the skies to find the fair princess, she stumbled upon a small fox-like creature. Literally.

"Watch out, tiny creatuuuure!" Natsume managed to warn before Hokuto crashed into the ground. The force of impact made her fly off and land ungracefully on top of the aforementioned fox…person?

"Uwah!" The fox person squirmed under her bodyweight. "E-evildoer! How dare you attempt to hinder me in my quest to save my master?!" She tried to brandish her knife, but Natsume still being on top of her made that difficult.

"Kon?!" Natsume looked at the fox girl in disbelief. "What are you doing here?"

"I could be asking you the same thing." Kon said. "I set out to find my master as soon as I heard he had been kidnapped by that villainous ogre!"

"And you didn't think to include me?" Natsume asked, indignantly.

"My master may be your intended bride, but _my_ master being _my_ master takes priority over such a trivial affair." Kon explained, her nose in the air. "And besides, I never approved of you being the one to marry Princess Harutora anyway!"

"Hmph!" Natsume huffed. "Well, Princess Harutora is still in danger, and that ogre stole my father's familiar. You and I both know how terrible the princess's luck is. Who knows what that ogre has planned for him?"

"All the more reason that _I_ have to find him as soon as I can!" Kon nodded.

"Do you even _know_ where Touji is keeping the princess?" Natsume asked. Kon's tail prickled.

"Uh…well…" Kon faltered.

"That's what I thought." Natsume rolled her eyes. "Sir Kyoko used her astrologer skills to draw up a map for me. If we could combine our strength together, I think we stand a better chance of saving the princess from whatever it is that villainous ogre has planned. You can go on about how you don't approve of my and Harutora's future marriage _after_ we find him safe again."

"…I can find no fault in your logic." Kon reluctantly agreed. "And it's not so bad if your wish to save the princess is the same as mine. A truce until Princess Harutora is safe again, then." She extended a tiny hand to Natsume.

"Glad to have you aboard." Natsume shook it. "Hokuto, let's fl-!" Natsume stared as her dragon stumbled towards her in a disoriented manner.

"I don't think your dragon's in any condition to fly." Kon cocked her head sympathetically.

"You're right." Natsume gently pet the dragon's forehead. "Rest for now, Hokuto. I'll call for you when we need your help again, my faithful dragon-steed." Hokuto then curled up in slumber while Natsume continued her journey with Kon.

.-:-.-.-:-.-.-:-.

And so, having forged a bond with some semblance to friendship, Natsume and Kon continued their travels to save the fair princess.

Only to run into some frilly blond girl. Again, literally.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" The frilly blond girl spat, rubbing her forehead where she collided with Natsume. Her companion, a boy with glasses, gave Natsume and Kon a sympathetic look as he brought up his hands in front of him.

"N-now Suzuka…" He said.

"Can it, four-eyes." She whirled on him. "It's bad enough that I lose to that lame ogre, I don't need to deal with some spacey clueless knight!" She jabbed a finger at said 'spacey clueless knight.'

"Ogre?" Natsume echoed, ignoring that this 'Suzuka' person had insulted her.

"Yeah, that's what I said." Suzuka rolled her eyes. "What are ya, deaf or somethin'?" Natsume's eyes twitched in irritation. Swallowing her feelings, she decided to ask another question.

"By 'ogre,' do you mean one that goes by the name of Touji?" Natsume asked calmly. "And did there happen to be a princess with him?"

"Princess…?" The boy with glasses asked, tilting his head. "Oh, I think there was!"

"Really?!" Kon piped up, excitedly.

"Oh yeah," Suzuka nodded, "he was a real cutie. Would've made a nice new plaything had I not lost to that ogre."

"P-plaything?!" Kon stammered, blushing brightly. "H-how dare you even think of doing such a thing to my master!" She brandished her knife as her face darkened.

"As well as _my_ dear childhood friend and intended bride!" Natsume growled, wielding a few talismans in Suzuka's general direction.

"No wonder that princess got kidnapped then." Suzuka giggled. "I'd take him for myself too if his fate ended in a betrothal to someone like _you_."

"…what's that supposed to mean?" Natsume's face darkened as much as Kon's.

"Oh _c'mon_, a cutie like that taken off the market is a shame in and of itself, but to also lose to some straight-laced wannabe like you?" Suzuka sneered. "That just adds _insult_ to _injury_…"

"As much as I dislike the way she says it, the girl is not incorrect." Kon nodded. Natsume's rage died in her throat as she gave the fox spirit a look of disbelief.

"Kon, how could you?!" Natsume flailed, indignantly. "I thought we were supposed to have a truce here!"

"Don't get the wrong idea, sir Natsume." Kon defended herself. "I don't think this gross curls girl is worthy of the princess either."

"Gross…curls girl…?" Suzuka glared at the fox spirit while the boy with glasses laughed lightly at that.

"But regardless of whether or not any of you can have the princess's affections, we still need to defeat that villainous ogre." Kon turned her attention back to Suzuka. "Did you notice anything about the ogre that merits mentioning? Some kind of flaw or weakness in his fighting?"

"Hmph, forget it!" Suzuka tossed her hair to the side with a tilt of her head. "If I couldn't beat him, then there's no way you two stand a chance."

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Suzuka." The boy with glasses said. "You two are better off giving the whole thing up."

"NEVER!" Natsume adamantly refused. "I won't stop until the princess is safe again!"

"Nor will I!" Kon declared just as adamantly.

"Tch, I bet you can't even beat me." Suzuka rolled her eyes. Natsume and Kon gave her an eerie look.

"Was waiting for you to say something like that…" Natsume said, ominously. "HOKUTO, TO ME!" Her dragon soared through the sky at high speed before diving down and colliding with Suzuka. If the boy with glasses hadn't gotten in the way, at least.

"Suzuka!" he moved in to shield against the impact, but Hokuto hit them with enough force to send them flying.

"Uwaaaaaah!" they shouted as they disappeared over the horizon.

"I hadn't meant to harm her companion, but knowing I made that infuriating girl scream is so _satisfying_." Natsume said with a blissful look softening her features. "Now then," she climbed aboard her dragon and took up the reins, "onward to save the princess!"

.-:-.-.-:-.-.-:-.

"Owww…" the boy with glasses said. Suzuka climbed off him and started to treat his wounds.

"I didn't need you to protect me, you know!" She was gentle with her bandaging, though her words were harsh. "Look at yourself! How pitiful these injuries are…"

"Well, it's better me than you, Suzuka." The boy with glasses smiled. "I'm just happy _you're_ safe." Suzuka blushed brightly at that.

"I-I would've been safe either way!" She hurriedly finished her wrapping. "Just don't do that dumb shielding me thing again. E-even if it was pretty brave of you…Tenma…" He blinked.

"You called me by my name!" Tenma smiled cheerily, making Suzuka blush even harder.

"D-don't get used to it!" She protested, though his smile made her slip-up a little bit worth it.

.-:-.-.-:-.-.-:-.

And so, Natsume and Kon continued their journey to save the fair princess. They faced trial after peril after countless tribulation.

None of which shall be cared about because someone seriously just needs to save the princess now. The poor guy must've been waiting forever.

"Ato Touji, your time of reckoning has come!" Natsume declared as they made ready to storm the ogre's towering black castle.

"Natsume?" a voice called from inside a large cage hanging outside the castle.

"Harutora!/Master!" Natsume and Kon yelled in unison, flying toward the cage. Sure enough, it was the princess inside there, along with some sparse furnishing like a bed and lantern. "That villainous ogre had the nerve to keep you in some giant, unsafe, cold cage?!"

"It's not that cold, but-!" Harutora attempted to say.

"How dare he!" Kon fumed, ignoring him. "Don't worry, we'll free you soon enough, master!"

"Kon, I'm-!" Harutora was again interrupted.

"Well, if it isn't Natsume of the Tsuchimikado and my bride-to-be's familiar, Kon." A voice drawled atop a flying steed. Two pairs of eyes snapped upwards to see the ogre himself. Harutora and Hokuto would've looked up too, but Harutora gave up even trying to talk and settled for petting a content dragon.

"So you finally show yourself, you fiend!" Kon glared daggers at the newcomer, brandishing her knife.

"I wasn't exactly hiding." Touji rolled his eyes, adjusting his grip on Yukikaze's reins.

"Return my father's familiar and _my_ intended bride, villain!" Natsume declared, wielding her talismans again.

"Hmmm… Let me think." Touji cocked his head and smiled. "Nah, don't feel like it." Blue flames gathered around him and Yukikaze as his hair turned white as snow. "Looks like you'll have to get 'em both back by force, Na. Tsu. Me!" He dived down towards her.

"Hokuto, ascend!" Natsume attempted to knock him off Yukikaze, but he managed to evade her. "Yukikaze, I'll clear you of whatever brainwashing this ogre cast on you!" She cast talismans towards the flying steed only to have Touji's flames burn them on contact. Meanwhile, Kon had used her knife to slice out an opening in the giant cage.

"There!" Kon took a second to admire her handiwork. "Now grab onto me so that we can escape, master!"

"Um…I don't know if you're actually strong enough to carry me, Kon." Harutora cautiously stepped towards the giant hole in the cage.

"Uwah!" Natsume shouted as Hokuto was knocked back against the cage, rattling it hard enough to force Harutora to fall out screaming.

"Master!/Harutora!" Kon and Natsume attempted to dive after him, but Yukikaze was faster. The horse descended at an alarming rate, allowing Touji to catch Harutora bridal style before they made their way back up again. Touji gently let Harutora get back on his feet on the castle rooftop before he entered the battle fray again.

"I appreciate your help, but I know you only care to keep your captive undamaged." Natsume frowned before she threw her talismans again.

"My sentiments exactly!" Kon flew toward him, knife out.

"Tch." Touji maneuvered out of the way with difficulty. If he hadn't had that battle with that frilly blond earlier, he might've been in better fighting condition.

The match raged on... Actually no, it didn't. Harutora had had enough of this crap.

"ALL OF YOU, STOP FIGHTING ALREADY!" His voice rang through the night, causing all participants in the brawl to freeze and look towards him in surprise.

"But Harutora!" Natsume flew Hokuto down to the rooftop to talk with him better. "Touji kidnapped you!"

"I can't be kidnapped if I went along willingly." Harutora explained, calmly.

"W-willin…what?" Natsume asked brilliantly. "B-but your father said that Touji just tossed you behind him on a steed and flew off!"

"Why would he say that?" Harutora cocked his head. "Touji took my hand and had me climb on in front of him. You know he always treats me like a princess whether I want him to or not." Harutora gave the ogre an annoyed look. Touji just laughed.

"Then explain the cage!" Kon demanded as she flew down to the rooftop as well. "Maybe you went along willingly at first, but you can't have consented to being imprisoned, master."

"I wasn't being imprisoned." Harutora said, shaking his head. "It was actually pretty comfortable, and the view was nice."

"I told you I knew what I was doing when I built it." Touji's flames faded away, and his hair changed back to its normal shade as he landed Yukikaze on the castle rooftop. "Though I suppose it _was_ terribly unsafe in hindsight… Well, it wouldn't have been if these two hadn't shown up and picked a fight."

"Putting a princess in a giant cage was bound to give people the wrong idea." Harutora narrowed his eyes at Touji. "I told you we should've thought of something else."

"Right, right, but how many weddings do you know of involve a _giant_ _cage_?" Touji protested. "Ours would've been a blast with it!"

"H-hold it!" Natsume stammered. "What do you mean by…by _wedding_?"

"Is there any other definition for the word?" Touji raised a brow. Harutora coughed into his hand, blushing.

"I wanted to tell you in your invitation since I know you wouldn't take the news well, but…I…" Harutora grabbed Touji's hand in his as the ogre smirked.

"I'm getting married to Touji."

Natsume and Kon's jaws dropped as their forms turned completely white. Kon was the first to shake herself out of it and recover.

"Wh-wh-what do you mean?!" Kon demanded.

"I think you know what he means." Touji's smirk grew into a smug smile as he threw an arm around his bride-to-be.

"B-but to _him_?!" Kon gestured to Touji. "This lazy, punk, delinquent ogre?! There's absolutely no way in hell he's at all good enough for you, master! Even Natsume would be a better choice!"

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Natsume snapped out of her shock. Harutora wasn't sure who looked more offended, the one he was going to marry or his childhood friend. "Though I agree that you could do a lot better than Touji, Bakatora." She frowned.

"Well, I don't know…" Harutora gave Touji a fond look. "I think two idiots like us getting together sounds about right." Touji returned the look, lowering himself down to give the princess a peck on the cheek.

"Hyuuu…" Natsume blushed at the shameless display.

"I…" Kon finally put her knife away. "If master decides this is what he wants, then I'll support his decision…"

"Thank you, Kon." Harutora gave her a small smile as he bent down to pet her head. Natsume's eyes flit to the horse.

"Care to explain why you stole my father's familiar, Touji?" Natsume jabbed a finger at Yukikaze. "Maybe Princess Harutora went along with you out of free will, but that doesn't give you the right to take anything else you want!"

"Your father lent Yukikaze to me." Touji explained. "And besides, it's not like he doesn't like me or anything." He made his point by petting the steed, earning pleased sounds for his effort. "He's free to leave whenever Yasuzumi wants him back."

"Ha!" Natsume scoffed. "What a terrible lie! Why would my father allow you take Yukikaze for something like this?"

"Yasuzumi approved of our marriage and let Touji borrow Yukikaze for a standard courtship and proposal." Harutora explained. Natsume's form turned completely white for the second time that night.

"My father…approved…?" She failed to echo.

'_He even _helped_ Touji with it? Is this what he meant by things would end nicely, so no one should bother?'_ She thought feverishly.

"But things didn't end nicely at all!" Natsume screamed skyward.

"Natsume…" Harutora gave her a sympathetic look. "You're my best friend, and I love you. My feelings won't change even after marriage. If it isn't asking too much, at least attend one of the most important ceremonies in my life?" Natsume looked at the two and envied their doubtlessly strong bond. How had it gotten so strong without her knowledge, and when had the princess started to feel so far from her reach? It wasn't fair.

"B-bakatoraaaa!" She rode off on Hokuto back to the Tsuchimikado castle in tears. Harutora suggested they follow after her, but Touji wasn't up for it.

"I'm sure it'll turn out fine." He shrugged. "Anyway, we need to get back to our next wedding idea since the cage was a bust."

"I would like to suggest a cherry blossom wedding." Kon proposed.

"…nah." Touji immediately rejected it, to Kon's annoyance. Harutora continued to watch as Natsume disappeared into the sky, hoping things would end nicely as Yasuzumi predicted.

.-:-.-.-:-.-.-:-.

"Sir Natsume!" Kyoko ran up to the knight. "How was the…sir Natsume?"

"I don't want to talk about it…" Natsume wept as she dismounted from Hokuto. "The princess is safe, at least." She assured her fellow knight. "He just decided to marry someone who wasn't me, though!" Natsume threw her arms around Kyoko and sobbed.

"O-oh…" Kyoko said, blushing at the contact. "I see… I'm sorry to hear that, sir Natsume. I know you loved the princess dearly."

'_I know better than anyone, honestly.'_ Kyoko thought, sadly.

"I'm happy for him, it's just…" Natsume wiped her tears away. "I thought if we ever decided not to go along with the marriage, if we ever fell in love with someone else, that I would be able to find someone I'd love as much as I did Bakatora. Does anyone else even come close?"

"…" Kyoko stayed silent while Natsume took the reins off her dragon. She watched the other knight work with a careful eye, observing how the moonlight illuminated her hair and skin.

Natsume waved to Hokuto as it flew off to get its sleep for the rest of the night.

"Sir Kyoko?" Natsume's voice snapped the knight out of her reverie. "You're awfully silent. I apologize if I bored you."

"Not at all, sir Natsume." Kyoko stepped up to her. "It's just…well…" She looked away and blushed.

'_Sir Kyoko tends to do that around me a lot.'_ Natsume noted. Kyoko grabbed Natsume's hand with both of hers and locked eyes with her, blushing faintly.

"I may not be a princess you hold in high regard, but…I'd love you with all my being."

"…Sir Kyoko…." Natsume blushed, realizing just why the other knight always seemed to help her out. She even drew up that map to help Natsume find Harutora again. Having to listen to Natsume talk about the princess all the time too… How could she have been so dense?! Even Bakatora wasn't this dense!

"I-if you would have me…" Kyoko stuttered before Natsume pulled her into a tight hug. "S-sir Natsume?!"

"I'm still a bit heartbroken with Bakatora, so I don't really want to date right now." Natsume said, though she didn't let go of Kyoko. "However, should you be willing to wait, you would be the first one I seek out when I want to get back on that horse." She let go of Kyoko and put both of her hands on the other girl's shoulders.

"O-of course, sir Natsume! I'd wait forever!" Kyoko smiled. It wasn't an outright declaration, but it was the best Kyoko had so far.

"Why don't I give you some incentive then?" Natsume gave her a quick peck to her forehead. It was something she usually did when wishing Harutora good night, but something about doing it with Kyoko made sparks fly.

Maybe Kyoko was her intended bride. Natsume could live with that.

.-:-.-.-:-.-.-:-.

On the day of Touji and Harutora's wedding…

"Oh, it's a candle wedding!" Kyoko noted, looking over all the little lights that surrounded the castle hall where the ceremony took place. "How romantic!"

"It really is a beautiful sight!" Tenma agreed.

"Eh, what's so great about a bunch of blue lights?" Suzuka rolled her eyes.

"Not to mention all the smoke." Natsume scoffed, waving a hand in front of her face.

"Don't be like that, you two!" Kyoko scolded them. "Look how beautiful Harutora looks in his wedding dress!"

"And besides, there isn't all that much smoke anyway." Tenma pointed out.

"Hmph, for a princess to marry his kidnapper… Doesn't that just send a bad message?" Natsume complained, crossing her arms. "Think of all the villains getting ideas! Abduction romances are terrible."

"But Touji didn't kidnap Harutora?" Kyoko asked. "I thought he went willingly."

"If the princess didn't, he probably wouldn't be exchanging vows, right?" Tenma cocked his head.

"Ahhh…weddings are nice." Zenjirou sat comfortably near them. He heard the sounds of flashes going off and turned to face the cause of it behind him. "You two don't have to take so many pictures, you know."

"Nonsense!" Ako said in-between shots.

"A wedding like this needs lots of photos to commemorate it!" Mako agreed, snapping shots at light speed.

"Well, all right…" Zenjirou gave up easily. "I suppose so long as you're not causing any harm."

"You may now kiss the bride." Ohtomo announced. Harutora tossed the bouquet into the crowd while Touji did just what Ohtomo allowed. Well, he would've if Kon didn't pipe up angrily.

"I see where your hands are going, pervert!" She fumed. "Save that for your honeymoon!"

"K-Kon…" Harutora held his hands up in front of him to calm her down. Touji sighed before settling on placing a hand under his bride's chin and giving him a kiss that way, all innocent and less handsy-like.

"The bouquet!" Kyoko stood up to catch it while the photo-takers behind them intensified their vigorous photo-taking.

"I've got it!" Natsume stood up as well. The bundle of flowers was just above her before she got slammed into a wall by one of Suzuka's onmyou.

"AHAHAHAHA!" Suzuka cackled as she caught the bouquet. "That's payback for sicking your dragon on us, you straight-laced wannabe!" She tossed it to Tenma as she strode over to gloat at the knight further.

"Suzuka, that was cruel." Tenma frowned.

"Sir Natsume!" Kyoko went to check on her, but Natsume was already standing again with a burning look in her eyes.

"That bouquet was for _Kyoko_, you _brat_!" Natsume hit the other blond with a high-level spell, knocking her into the opposite wall. "HOKUTO." She called, causing the dragon to break through the castle's ceiling. "Today, we make Suzuka cower!"

"You can try!" Suzuka sneered as she threw some talismans at Natsume.

"Sir Natsume dropped the 'sir' and called me Kyoko…" Kyoko blushed happily. Tenma gave her the bouquet and smiled.

"I'm glad you're happy, but we should probably stop them. They're setting the castle on fire." Tenma pointed to all the candles falling over.

"Right, I apologize for my girlfriend's actions…" Kyoko blushed in embarrassment, setting the bouquet somewhere safe.

"And I apologize for mine." Tenma gave her a sympathetic look.

"This way, this way!" Zenjirou already got to work evacuating the attendees out of the castle while Ohtomo attempted to put out the flames. Hokuto was thrown back against a table, breaking the tabletop and throwing the entire wedding cake into the air…and onto Harutora. The cake was so big that it practically covered the poor bride from head to knee.

"Ah, Harutora!" Touji and Kon went to work trying to get the layers of cake and frosting off. Harutora simply blinked and licked some of the white icing off his lips. He took a bit of the mashed cake off his chest and tasted that too, getting his index and middle finger relatively slick with saliva.

"You remembered my favorite flavor!" Harutora gave Touji a sunny smile. Touji chuckled at the messy sight.

"_That's_ the first thing you say after getting cake all over you?" He bent down to lick some of the frosting off his princess's cheek. "Mmm, this _is_ good." He licked his lips while Harutora blushed at the implication.

"Stop that." Kon shot him a glare. Touji would've laughed at that considering Harutora was hardly innocent anymore, but Kon looked like she was seriously contemplating cutting the ogre's jewels off, and even someone who loved teasing as much as he did wouldn't try to provoke that.

"Right, we should probably get you cleaned up before we go on our honeymoon." Touji picked Harutora up bridal-style, not caring that he was getting wedding cake smeared on his equally expensive tuxedo. "Yukikaze!" He called, the flying steed flew in through the hole Hokuto had made earlier. "I'll get the icing off your mane as soon as I can." He said as he had Harutora get on before him.

"Kon, can you make sure Natsume and Suzuka don't hurt each other too badly?" Harutora asked. "I don't care that much about the castle, but make sure everyone stays relatively safe."

"Of course, master!" Kon saluted before she went to break up the fight.

"You sure you want to send Kon into that battlefield?" Touji asked, gesturing to how Natsume and Suzuka's attacks were getting increasingly more powerful. Kyoko and Tenma were doing their best to stop the fire spreading with Ohtomo while Zenjirou and Kon helped the last of the attendees out of the castle.

"I think she'll be all right." Harutora assured him. "She's tough, you know."

"Oh, but she can't protect you from being defiled like a virgin bride now." Touji teased as he got on behind Harutora. "Whatever will you do in this ogre's clutches, princess?"

"Maybe the princess wants to be defiled?" Harutora teased back. "You can thank me for sending my bodyguard away later."

"I'll be sure to express my gratitude very thoroughly then." Touji licked his lips as they rode off to the island they picked out for their honeymoon.

Meanwhile Ohtomo and Zenjirou pretty much stopped the fight with their combined strength while Kon, Kyoko, and Tenma put out the rest of the flames. Zenjirou then gave the feuding pair a stern lecture over endangering other people's lives while Takahiro was trying to figure out how they were going to pay for the castle's repairs. And Ako and Mako had added more photos to their BL shrine.

So nicely ends this silly fairy tale just as Yasuzumi predicted.

.-:-.-.-:-.-.-:-.

KN: …what possessed me to write this, I don't even.


End file.
